Do I have to move out if my spouse filed for divorce in Michigan?

One of the major concerns our clients have when separating from a spouse or co-parent is whether to move out of the family home.  This article is intended to provide a few general guidelines for your consideration before doing so. 

Remember, however, that every case is different so the general guidelines might not apply to you.  We advise anyone in Oakland or Macomb County pondering this question to contact our skilled attorneys at the Bloomfield Family Law Firm for a consultation prior to making this big decision, because there’s no putting that cat back in the bag!

Do I have to move out?

The short answer is no.  We typically advise our clients to stay in the home if it is safe to do so.  Absent a court order, nobody can really force you out of your home.  

One type of court order that can require someone to move out is a Personal Protection Order (PPO), which is granted only in emergency situations such as a showing of domestic violence. 

Tell your attorney if domestic violence is a concern for you or your family members. Judges take PPO requests very seriously and do not grant them lightly.  That said, false allegations intended to get the upper hand in divorce will not be tolerated and could ultimately have devastating consequences in divorce and custody proceedings.

Ask our family law attorneys to help you determine if a PPO or similar remedy is appropriate in your situation.

Another type of order that might force someone out of the house is one for Exclusive Use of the Marital Home.  Such orders are usually the result of high-conflict scenarios where one party is exhibiting inexcusable behavior that doesn’t quite rise to the level of an emergency. 

For example, if your spouse goes out of their way to open your mail, access your cell phone or Facebook account, hide your keys and wallet, steal your wedding ring, turn off the heat in the guest room where you are sleeping, sabotage your social gatherings, etc., then it may be time to discuss an Exclusive Use Order with your attorney.

This type of Order is obtained by filing a motion with the court that tells the court all the reasons your spouse needs to be kicked out.

Will I be accused of abandonment?

Abandonment is the idea that someone purposefully left their family high and dry for completely selfish reasons and can be punished for it.  The notion of abandonment makes sense on an intuitive level because it satisfies our sense of justice that bad people should get what’s coming to them. 

This is perhaps why we cannot seem to rid ourselves of the myth.  Simply stated, there is no such thing as abandonment under Michigan law.  In other words, you will NOT lose your rights to your home or your children if you move out prior to finalizing the divorce.

We do caution you, however, that it becomes easier for the other party to take control of shared property/children once the home is in their sole possession. 

To illustrate the point, your spouse might argue the following line of logic:

“I should be the one to keep the house since you’re already out of it anyway. You can have anything in the house that you take before the end of the month, at your own expense of course.  The kids should stay with me, too, since this is the home they grew up in and we don’t want to upset them more than necessary.  I guess that means you’ll owe me child support.  How soon can you pay me?  It’s getting pretty expensive paying for this house all by myself!  You probably should have thought about that before you moved out.”  

This nightmare scenario can be avoided by simply creating a plan with your attorney prior to anyone moving out. The Court will enter temporary orders laying out the plan for both parties. 

Setting realistic expectations for parenting time, marital expenses, and the division of property not only paves the way for a much smoother transition but also provides the whole family with a guide for how to proceed in the upcoming months of the case.

Can I afford to move out?

If you rely on your spouse or co-parent for financial support, then you really need to come up with a financial plan before moving out.  This is especially true if you expect to get further support from them because your partner is NOT obligated to pay spousal support or child support until a court order commands them to do so. 

Consider coordinating with your attorney to file the appropriate court paperwork at the right time – sooner is always better than later – so you can get the support you need when you need it.

If you are the primary breadwinner in the relationship, then you need to consider the fact that you may be obligated to finance two households when you move out.  After all, it was your choice to move out – not your partner’s. 

Leaving your spouse or co-parent to pay all of the joint bills will not be tolerated for very long and has the potential for making you look bad in the eyes of the court.  Again, it’s best to create a comprehensive plan with your attorney that not only protects everyone involved but also ensures the law is on your side.

Can I take the kids with me?

Assuming there is no custody order in place and the parties were legally married when the child was born, then either parent has the right to move out of the home with the minor child or children (within certain limitations).

But the best answer to this question is complicated by many factors and really depends on the circumstances of your case. 

These factors include, but are not limited to, whether paternity was established if the parties are not married, whether the child was born during the marriage if the parties are married, whether there is a previous custody order in place, the location where the parent plans to move with the child, and the reasons for moving. 

We strongly advise you to seek the counsel of a Bloomfield Family Law Firm attorney prior to taking the kids because, if done under the wrong circumstances, you could be accused of parental kidnapping and taking backwards steps towards your goals.